


Three Looks

by okaypianist



Series: Inspired by Twitter Prompts [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A love story told through Jenna Marbles songs because that is who I am, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Although honestly Jenna Marbles might be great in a GFFA, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Praise Kink, Smut, Soft Ben Solo, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-05-18 11:09:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19333336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaypianist/pseuds/okaypianist
Summary: Four Jenna Marbles songs. Three dates. Two losses of virginity. One anxious ride.





	1. Three Looks

_"I got three looks, three looks, three looks._  
_Three looks._  
_I got three looks,_  
_and that's it."_

 

Rey Kenobi giggles as she watches her all-time favorite YouTube video for the third time that afternoon. She's got her "Jenna Marbles for a rainy day" playlist on repeat, and she's slumped over in bed, covered in a thin layer of cat hair and Flamin' Hot Cheeto dust. She's been trying not to sulk all weekend, and she put on a pretty good game face at work, but now that it's Sunday, she is allowing herself to pout a little.

 The pouting and sulking are because Rey is now the last member of an extremely unofficial and un-exciting club. That's right, Rey is the last of her college friends to still be a virgin. She is not religious, she is not shy, and she is not putting out don't-find-me vibes, at least not intentionally. She is picky, but not absurdly so, at least if you ask her. 

 Her three closest friends, Finn, Poe, and Rose, are all attractive in theory. She would trust any of them enough to be a fun first experience, but all three of those cards are off the table. Poe is only interested in men, and Finn and Rose are only interested in each other. Poe seems content to play the field right now, and Rose and Finn have spent a wonderful eight months together so far, judging by the nauseating looks on their faces when they're both in the same room. Rey has seen enough movies to know better than to offer herself as a unicorn to the couple, or as an are-you-sure-you-aren't-bi challenge to the definitely-not-interested Poe. 

 Her FOMO had been kept to a minimum until Friday, when a newer friend of hers, Kaydel, confided in Rey that she's been hooking up with Phasma for a few weeks. Rey had been getting similar Single And Strong energies from Kaydel and from Phasma to the type she had been trying to create for herself. Turns out, those were actually just Secretly Seeing My Sorority Sister vibes. 

 Yes, Rey is alone. That's not news to her: she's experienced plenty of different types of aloneness in her nineteen years of life. She's lived at more addresses than she can remember. Still, a bubbling group of friends and acquaintances at the college of her dreams is so desperately close to what she wants that she is a little annoyed at herself for wanting anything else. 

 Ah, well. Operation Bed Partner will have to wait. She'd better brush off the Cheeto crumbs and lint roll away the cat hair, because it's almost time for Operation Lab Partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Marbles: ["Three Looks"](https://youtube.com/watch?v=L5Th-egJp1Y)


	2. I Want To Be Tall

_"This year, in 2019,_  
_I can do it._  
_I believe in me..."_

 

As she drags herself out of bed to prepare for her trip to the university library, Rey leaves her playlist going. Rose told her it's strange to listen to a YouTuber's parody songs instead of "actual music" while she's getting ready, but Rey doesn't really care what people think about her lack of taste in music (or fashion, or food, for that matter). Silly music makes her happy, and she's had precious little enough to be happy about growing up. If a thing makes her smile, she'll listen to it, or wear it, or eat it.

 "Three Looks" is #relatable to Rey because, like Jenna, she has no idea how to dress herself appropriately for daytime. Jenna's three self-described looks are a twelve-year-old boy, a homeless man, and a hooker. Rey has the first two of those down pat. She's been mocked for her flat chest since puberty, and while she's always clean, she's rarely fancy or on-trend. Still, she does not own any clothes that fit that last look; Rey thinks of her own third look as please-let-me-fit-in. It's thrift-store dark wash jeans, it's Target and Old Navy v-necks, it's a thin black-to-brown reversible belt, it's holiday patterned socks bought off-season, it's a pair of worn-out sneakers that her friends signed in Sharpie and that she sealed with Dollar Tree clear nail polish. It says "not worth a second glance," but at least it doesn't say "I don't belong here, so send me away." That's what she hopes for, anyway.

 On go the Sharpied shoes. Off go as many cat hairs as she can manage to remove with a few quick lint roller swipes (she loves her roommate's kitty, but man, is Chewie fluffy!). Quiet goes the laptop playing her YouTube faves. In go the ancient Skull Candy earbuds because AirPods aren't for Reys on college budgets. Off goes the Rey to her school's main library, a little over half a mile away.

 Rey is unaccustomed to silence these days, preferring to fill her life with friends' laughter, the bustle of the campus bookstore where she works, or some sort of background noise. That's just one of many reasons why partnering with Ben Solo on this school project is tough: he seems to need things to be quiet. He sits alone in the back of class, he never wears AirPods even though he's got Not On A College Budget written all over his clothes and shoes and watch and book bag, and his one request for their project was to meet"on the emptiest floor of the library." She chooses their meeting times, she picked out their topic, and she's somehow become the one making final decisions even though she knows he is smart and capable. All he wanted was this fourth floor table.

 When she steps off the questionably rumbly elevator, Rey sees Ben's dark waves from behind. He's twirling a pen between his thick fingers, and she's surprised to find herself stopping her approach a few feet behind him, just looking at his masculine hand. She's never cared about hands before, but this hand...

 Before she can stop herself, Rey sees her own palm reach out and touch Ben on the shoulder of the pen-twisting arm. He starts, and she plans to apologize, but then he's staring up at her and all she can think is _y u m_. It isn't the spicy, citrusy scent of his slightly damp hair. It isn't even the rich chocolate brown of his eyes. She is, for once, strangely not hungry at all.

 Just thirsty.

 Ben stands up to walk around the wooden table and to pull out the chair across from him. Rey gives him a closed-lipped smile and sits. She pulls out a water bottle from her threadbare backpack and takes a sip, now that her mouth has gone mysteriously dry. She is never quite certain what to think about Ben's Mr. Chivalry routine, having not grown up with anything close to his type of manners demonstrated to her. She wonders if she's a bad feminist for not minding his awkward attempts at kindness.

 "I thought we could go over our notes from the last chapter before we work on the lab report today," Ben says, gesturing to his open textbook.

 "Sure," Rey offers, though she is confused. Neither of them were absent, and they're both excellent science students who take thorough notes (Ben in tidy ballpoint script elegant enough to be framed, Rey in a penciled scrawl because pens are anti-left-handed-people and tend to smear). As they discuss the last class, Rey finds her mind wandering. As he gives a long definition of a vocabulary word, her eyes wander, too. Right to his plush pink lips. Hmm. Now she's already thirsty again.

 "... but it depends on the researcher. Rey? Are you with me?" His expression is politely concerned.

 "Yeah. Yep. Totally. I'm just in a weird mood, I guess. I got some news from a friend that I can't stop thinking about," Rey replies, and then instantly cringes. Now he looks legitimately concerned.

 "Is it something you feel comfortable sharing? Can I do anything to help you?" Ben ventures. Rey coughs and nearly spits out her giant swig of water. When she's breathing normally again, she hurries to say, "Oh, it's nothing serious. I'm all right."

 "Are you sure, Rey?"

 His face is so sweet, his eyes so trusting, that he seems to want nothing more than to be her amateur therapist for a minute, so she admits, "Two of my friends are hooking up. I'm happy for them and all that, I'm just the only one left in the Virgins R Us club."

 Now it's Ben's turn to choke. His cheeks are slightly pink as he whispers, "So... you've never..."

 Rey shakes her head."Never. Not waiting on purpose, just, you know, waiting."

 "Well. You'll find someone. They all must just be nervous to talk to you. I know I was, when Professor Ackbar called out our partners for this assignment and I realized that Three Bun Girl was you. I mean, I knew your hair was your hair, just, like, that your name was Rey and that you were the Rey Kenobi he assigned to Ben Solo, assigned to be with me, as in, to work together..." 

"Ben."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Then, The Rey got an idea. An awful idea. The Rey got a wonderful, awful idea.
> 
> Jenna Marbles: [I Want To Be Tall](https://youtu.be/lKwON5JcAv0)


	3. I Hate Being A Grown Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this rare attempt at Ben's POV.

_"Oh, you just had a baby? Congratulations._  
_I looked at pictures of cats today, yeah,_  
_and I dyed my hair purple,_  
_and wear a Ninja Turtle backpack."_

 

 

Ben is rambling again. He's either saying nothing or he's spitting out all of his feelings at once. His too-much-gene is taking over. He's embarrassing himself as usual, until...

"Ben."

What does that look mean? Why is she looking at him like that? Why did she say his name so sweetly, all whispery and smiley, like it's a sexy name and not, you know, short for Benjamin Organa Skywalker Solo? His initials are literally BOSS and yet he's never felt less in control of a situation. She takes his whole world and flips it upside down with a simple question. 

"Wanna go get coffee?"

Ben convinces each of his awkwardly long limbs to unfold and stretch, manages to pack up his books and notes without dropping any of them, and then looks back down at Rey and realizes he forgot to actually respond to her.

 "Yeah, sure." 

Rey makes a comment about the students who are playing Muggle Quidditch and Ultimate Frisbee outside on the lawn, and their conversation flows adequately enough after that as they walk. Once they order, Rey refuses his offer to buy her ridiculous pink strawberry and cream drink for her (didn't she invite him for coffee?), so Ben just gets a black coffee and finds himself across from Rey at a rickety wooden table once more. This one is even smaller than the library tables are, so he tries to compress himself into a non-threatening bundle. He nearly rockets out of his seat when Rey lightly touches his hand with her fingertips across the tabletop and smiles at him. 

"Ben," she says again,and he nods enthusiastically before realizing that all she said is his name and he probably looks silly for agreeing that, yes, that's his name. "Why do you think people are afraid to talk to me?"

"Oh, um. I don't know if other people are, but I was. I've always been shy," Ben replies.

"So then how'd you turn in your V-card? Did a girl just, like, slink up to you and start playing with your hair?"

"Hmm. Well. I actually... no. I didn't turn in any card." 

"You're... like me?" 

"I am," he admits, hoping that this won't bother her. Why does it seem to some people like it's being safe or sensible or selective when a woman waits, but isn't the same way for dudes?  

Rey, being Rey, brings none of that baggage to the station, and just hums contentedly. "Mmm... I see."

And then she touches his hand again, and so Ben puts his foot in his mouth.

Not literally. His legs are too long for that. He just says something pretty awkward, even for him. 

"I can't just do you, Rey." 

He expects rolled eyes, or a storming off, or a barrage of insults. What he receives is much more baffling: Rey looks down at her inked-in shoes and rubs the toe of one against the side of the other. She mumbles,"Sorry. I guess I thought you might've been interested in me, but I didn't mean to make things weird. We can just-"

"What?!" He interrupts. His family hates it when he does that, and he's nearly broken the habit, but he can't let Rey think he doesn't want her for one second more. "I'm interested. I am. Very interested."

Rey sniffles a little and refuses to look back up at him, keeping her eyes on her wiggling feet. "So- So what is it?" 

"I just don't think I work like that, Rey. I'd have to date someone first. Like, three dates at least."

And Rey finally looks up. And blinks a few times. And swallows. And gives him this shy little grin that's really delicious. And asks, "Ben, will you go on three dates with me?"

He realizes after a few stunned seconds that she's being playful. He can do this. He can play back. He winks and says, "Only if this counts as the first one," and to his great joy, Rey blushes and laughs.

They stay and talk until the shop closes. Their fingers brush several more times, and eventually their hands just stay locked together, and Ben isn't sure what that means in "baseball terms" but it sure doesn't feel like he's striking out. 

Ben drives Rey back to her apartment, even though it's less than a mile away. He insists. His sleek black Silencer is parked between the library and the coffee shop, and he wants to spend those last few minutes with her and make sure she gets home safely.

When he parks outside her complex, Ben says, "What's the rule for first dates?" Rey only looks halfway annoyed with him when she responds, "I dunno, you're the one with the rules." 

So Ben makes something up. He double-checks that the car is in park, leans over slowly, and gives Rey a quick kiss on the cheek. "The rule is, you have to answer me when I text you tomorrow about our second date." 

Rey smirks. "We'll see." And with that, she's out of his car, gently shutting the car door, dragging her old backpack over one shoulder and swinging her sweet little hips as she walks away. Ben tries not to think about the fact that he might get to touch those hips soon, so that he'll focus on the road enough to not crash the Silencer.

She does text him back, and it's a good thing he has a big block of free time on Monday afternoons, because she turns the conversation in an unexpected direction after they make plans (Thursday, 7 p.m., for a showing of the latest Asteroid Adventures movie).

 

_I've decided I have a first date rule, too._

 

_Really? Isn't it too late for that?_  

_You tell me._

 

_I'll allow it._  

_Good. So. Rule is, you have to think about me when you jerk off._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Marbles: [I Hate Being A Grown Up](https://youtu.be/OPi2s1K_pgU)


	4. Realistic Love, Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Four Jenna Marbles songs. Three dates. Two losses of virginity. One anxious ride." - and five chapters instead of four because these guys decided to get all super bonus mega anxious on me.

_"I don't need no flowers, or a diamond on my hand._  
_When you bring me coffee, babe, I know you understand."_

 

 

A winky face. A goddamned winky face. The possible future redeemer of his v-card texted him something sexy, and he responded with a winky face. It has been several days, but Ben can't stop being haunted by the memory of the epically cursed winky face.

Today is Thursday, the day of Ben and Rey's second date. In class on Monday and Wednesday, they kept to their usual routine- Rey sitting near the front of the classroom, surrounded by friends, and Ben in the back row alone- with the addition of a few more lingering looks and awkward smiles. No speaking, though, not even a hello. No texting, either.

Is she trying to be mysterious? Is she just really busy? Or is she regretting signing up for the three for one bundle, when she only really wanted the one date, now that she knows he's a rotten sexter and responds to winsome words with winky faces?

Ben tries to remain hopeful. He showers after class, gets ready, and drives to the theater. Rey insisted she wanted to get there alone, as it's walking distance from her workplace. When he sees her standing out front, he is slammed in the gut with nervous energy. And then...

She smiles.  
______________________________

He's here. She was early, but so was he, and now he's here. He's walking towards her with his hands in his pockets and his back curled forward a little, and he's here.

Rey has been regretting her text since Monday. Ben explained to her quite politely that he wanted and needed time before he was ready to get physical, and what did she do? She pushed him. She has rejected guys for not understanding that "no thank you, I'm just not interested" is a valid sentence from anyone at any time, and now she's made Ben uncomfortable.

But he showed up. He's forgiven her for her awkwardness. He's here.

Ben and Rey have both seen every Asteroid Adventures movie multiple times, including this latest installment. They grab snacks and seats with ease, settle into the comfortable reclining seats, and get swept away into a beautiful and creative universe.

Ben takes Rey's hand during the scene where Rey's two favorite young actors from the franchise are onscreen together, speaking in hushed tones and staring into each other's eyes. Rey's heartbeat quickens, and she wonders if her popcorn-greased palm is unappealing, but Ben doesn't seem to mind. Their fingers stay laced together for the rest of the film.

When the credits roll, the theater empties, all except for the two of them. Rey loves movie credits, especially the ones for Asteroid Adventures, because they often have such breathtaking music accompanying them. She can barely hear it today, though, because Ben is still holding her hand and is turning and looking into her eyes.

She smiles.

________________________________

"Rey," Ben says nervously. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for being weird on Monday night."

"Weird?" She asks, cocking her head a little.

"Yeah, you know, about your text. I just didn't know what to say, and I didn't say anything, and now I think that that was worse." He doesn't add that he also thought it was worse right then, and every couple of minutes for the last few days.

"Oh. No, you weren't weird. You said three dates and I should have respected that," is her polite response. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"No. I wasn't. And hey... I definitely still followed your rule." He can feel his stupid ears heating up and he hopes they aren't peeking through his purposely long hair.

"Oh," Rey says again, this time in a much more coy manner. "I... followed my rule too."

Ben groans. He's nearly in physical pain. He grabs her other hand with his free hand, brings it to his mouth, and kisses her wrist. "I'm glad to hear that," he purrs.

Nothing baseball-metaphorical happens between Rey and Ben on Thursday night. They walk out of the theater arm in arm. Ben drives Rey home again. He kisses her cheek again, a little longer this time. They make plans for date three - pizza at Ben's on Saturday night. Just two days away. Forty-six hours. Barely any time at all, after school and work and following that first-and-probably-second-date rule of Rey's.

Before Rey gets out of Ben's car for the second time, she does the cutest thing. She stops. She slowly turns to face him again.

She smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Marbles- [Realistic Love](https://youtu.be/mnb2-lmE2us)


	5. Realistic Love, Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jenna Marbles- [Realistic Love](https://youtu.be/mnb2-lmE2us)
> 
> Seriously. This song is adorable.

_"When you do the dishes after I cook your favorite meal,_  
_you turn out the lights, 'cause I'm in bed._  
_That's how I know our love is real."_

 

 

"Is pineapple on pizza a thing people are still arguing about on the Internet?" Rey wonders aloud as she reaches for a third slice. "I feel like people ate pineapple and Canadian bacon pizza for years and then suddenly it was this memetastic thing."

She and Ben are lounging on Ben's couch, which is so fancy it probably has never even heard of IKEA. Rey had a minute of feeling unworthy when she first stepped into his place, since clearly very few of his belongings were thrifted or scavenged. Ben seemed so happy to see her here that she quickly just decided to make herself at home, and that was definitely the right decision. What good is a coffee table if your feet can't go on it? Who has couch pillows you can't squeeze while you watch Netflix? Why hang with a guy who would be annoyed or disgusted by how much she loves pizza?

So she's been lounging, and he's been lounging, and it's all been played quite cool. Too cool. When will it heat up? She doesn't want to rush him, but he's not exactly the king of smooth transitions. So when their episode is over, and Ben says, "Another?" already reaching for the remote, Rey swallows nervously and asks, "What are my other options?"

"Oh, like, another show? Did you ever start Brooklyn 9-9? You really should catch up before-"

Rey is trying to give him bedroom eyes, but she isn't quite sure how to arrange her features to say _put the remote down, sweetie_. He must get at least part of the message, though, because at least he hits pause instead of play.

"Or- or we could go to bed? I mean, it's nine-fifteen, nine-seventeen actually. I'm not tired, I don't mean let's go to sleep right now, although you can definitely sleep here if you want to, I have a still wrapped spare toothbrush and everything..." he pauses. Takes a breath.

Rey helps them both out. "I would love to go to bed and not to sleep," she teases gently. She stands up and saunters toward the next room. Before she's through the doorframe, she hears two clatters and turns back to look. Ben dropped the remote on the floor and then bumped his knee on the coffee table reaching for it. She tries not to giggle and continues her walk to his bed.

A king-size bed. His place truly is the envy of every college student in the world. Still, she's definitely in a college man's room: she can tell by the desk covered in textbooks, the wall covered in music and movie posters, and the... "Asteroid Adventures sheets?" She wonders aloud. "I didn't know they made these in sizes bigger than twin."

Ben rolls his eyes. "Laugh it up. You're jealous."

"I totally am," she admits. And now they're both sitting. On the bed. Together. But two feet apart.

"Can I kiss you?" Ben asks, and her heart gives a little squeeze. Not literally, but it sure feels like it whenever she looks at those little crinkles around his eyes and the timid smile on his face.

"Please do," she whispers, and Ben leans over and softly presses his lips to hers. It isn't a fairytale kiss, out in the rain or in front of the Eiffel Tower or anything, but it's gentle and it's sweet and it's from someone she really likes, so that's good enough for Rey.

As they slowly and thoroughly learn how they both like to be kissed, she feels cherished and safe. She lets one hand drift up into his hair and the other onto his chest. Both of his hands find her hips and bring her a little closer to him. Rey scoots even closer, and then pulls up her knees so she's over his lap. They are both wearing jeans, but that's not enough fabric to keep her from feeling the bulge inside his. She tentatively rolls herself forward once. The reward is a moan from Ben that she desperately wants to hear again.

Ben's fingers have started playing with the lower hem of her top, so she puts her hands over his and nods quickly. Ben carefully lifts Rey's top over her head. As he reaches to pull off his own shirt, Rey saves Ben the trouble of bra-wrangling and quickly undoes the clasps behind her back. He's looking at her like she did a magic trick, so she gives him a bow of her head and a wave of her hand. He might not have noticed, though. His eyes are definitely south of her face.

"Rey," he whispers, a little awed. "You're so beautiful. Can I touch you?"

"You are touching me, Solo," she points out, looking down at where she's still straddling him- but she also grabs his hands and places them gently over her breasts.

As Ben tries different touches, he's slightly awkward and alternates between giving her too much pressure and not enough for awhile. He's a very attentive student, though. He's watching her face, listening to her vocalizations, and repeating what he thinks she likes. He's eager and that's fine with Rey. His big hands look amazing sliding over her chest, and she isn't faking or exaggerating her moans and gasps as he figures out how to touch her. When she rolls her hips a second time, he asks, "How? How can I make this good for you?"

"It's already good," Rey responds, a bit confused by the question.

"But how do I get you off?" He clarifies, smiling.

"Oh! Well..." Rey slides off his lap, stands and unbuttons her jeans. "We can get naked?"

Ben huffs out a nervous laugh and stands up beside her. They perform the synchronized jeans-kicking-off dance steps, and then Ben pauses with his hands on his black boxers when Rey slides out of her teal boyshorts. As usual, she feels awkward, and as usual, he doesn't mind at all. He shakes his head a bit, as if to clear it, rolls his lips in an anxious gesture Rey has come to notice on all three of their dates, and pulls off his boxers.

As they fall back onto the bed together, kissing more roughly than before and sliding their newly exposed skin together, Rey has a phrase stuck in her head. For once, it isn't an obnoxious phrase, or a socially inappropriate one. It's just a perfect description of how she's feeling in this bed with Ben.

_Realistic love._

They're timid. They're clumsy. But they're real. It's definitely realistic. And it could someday - soon - grow into be a realistic sort of love. That's all Rey has ever wanted from a relationship.

Rey loses herself in the feel of Ben's shaking hands, his soft lips, his strong body. She loves the sound of his voice, husky and deep, as he tells her, "You're so good... I like that... oh, wow, look at you..." She rubs her clit while he slowly pumps two of his thick fingers in and out of her and sucks on each of her nipples in turn. Ben is as short of breath when Rey comes as she is, beaming like he just discovered something magical. She can let him be proud of himself for a second, but then she needs more.

"Can I... on top?" She whispers. "I just don't know if it's going to hurt me or not. "

"Rey. Yes. Anything," he huffs. As she positions her body over his, and his certainly proportionate cock at her entrance, they're both staring into each other's eyes. As she slides down slowly, he holds her hips and groans, long and low. He has just enough brainpower left to ask, "Does it hurt?" but when Rey says no, she's fine, he starts slowly fucking up into her. It's impatient. It's not in any particular rhythm. It's perfect.

Rey doesn't expect to get off again, since it's his first time too. She'll ride his fingers later if she isn't satisfied- she knows he'll be happy to get her off again and again. Right now, she just wants this to be as comfortable for him as it was for her, so she whispers in his big, adorable ear, "You can come. It's okay, Ben."

All it took was her saying his name for Ben to come inside her. She's kissing him and he's kissing her and she feels strong and powerful and so, so happy. As their heartbeats slow, so do their kisses. Finally, she moves her swollen lips away from his and looks up. "Was that all right?"

"Rey," Ben rasps. "You are... everything I didn't know I was waiting for."

He's got sweaty hair hanging in his eyes, she's about to slink off to the bathroom to clean up, and they're both still quivering a little. It isn't a poem. It isn't a love song. It isn't fancy. It's just real.

_Realistic love._


End file.
